


sunk cost fallacy

by BooyahFordhamYacht



Series: i'll love you til the day i die(rollisi oneshots) [2]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Car Accidents, Episode Fillin, Episode Related, Episode: s19e19 Sunk Cost Fallacy, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Rollisi Family, Shock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25158169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BooyahFordhamYacht/pseuds/BooyahFordhamYacht
Summary: tw: (death by) car accident, shock, traumaa little filler fic from 1919, sunk cost fallacy. in which amanda worries about sonny after nick has jules killed and jesse is precious. can be read as established relationship or pre-relationship, but either way it's idiots in love.
Relationships: Amanda Rollins & Odafin "Fin" Tutuola, Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Amanda Rollins
Series: i'll love you til the day i die(rollisi oneshots) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/998022
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	sunk cost fallacy

Amanda rolls her eyes at Fin. He’s been getting on her about how much coffee she drinks(and yeah, it’s 6pm, but he doesn’t need to give her that kind of look). “Fin, you know we’re gonna be here all night.” She tells him, but he just shrugs.

“I know I don’t want all that acid giving you an ulcer or something.” he shakes his head.

She scoffs. “I really try not to think about the fact that you’re more protective of me since I made you Jesse’s godfather. Ducking responsibility?” 

“Hell nah. I’d take on little Rollins in a heartbeat, you know that. Maybe I just prefer my partners breathing, Amanda.”

Her phone rings before she can tease Fin about how fond he is of her daughter. It’s Carisi, and she answers with a smile. “Hey, Carisi, how’s Jules?” 

“Amanda,” he whispers, and his voice over the line is quiet, but she knows immediately that there’s something really wrong. He’s the loudest person she knows, and any time he’s quiet she worries. But this is more than quiet. He just sounds empty. “Amanda, there was nothing I could do. He came out of nowhere.”

“Carisi, what happened? Where are you?” She says, halfway out the door with her coat in hand. 

“He came out of nowhere, Amanda. I couldn’t help her. He came out of nowhere.” Sonny keeps whispering, and it sounds like he’s letting the phone fall from his ear because he sounds further and further away. 

“Sonny, I think you’re in shock. Can you tell me where you are?” She says, real soft and quiet like she does with Jesse when she’s in a mood. 

“I’m, uh, I’m, uh, I’m t-two blocks from the hotel. S-south of it.” He stumbles over his words, and she sighs. 

“Okay, okay good job. I’ll be there in five minutes.” 

“Don’t hang up,” Sonny whispers, and Amanda’s heart twists at the way his voice sounds.

“I won’t. I’m right here.”

  
  


The cars are the first things she sees. A massive pile of twisted metal, ugly. There’s an ambulance, but the way Sonny sounded she doubts he called it - a passerby, maybe. He called her after it arrived based on the background noises of the call. He’s sitting in the ambulance bay, staring. He’s bloody and broken.

“Sonny,” she breathes as she reaches him.

He doesn’t look up. He’s still clutching the phone in his hand.

“Sonny,” she says again, and he still doesn’t look. He just gestures at something on the other side of the car.

“He came out of nowhere. I couldn’t… I tried to save her, I promise. I tried, I tried, I tried. There was so much blood. I tried.” Sonny’s voice wavers and breaks.

“I know you did,” Amanda tells him. She doesn’t need to see what he’s pointing at. She already knows. “Hey, look at me.” She puts a hand on his shoulder, pushes just hard enough to turn him towards her. Sonny does turn to face her but he still isn’t really looking at her;  _ past  _ her, really. She knows that look. “Sonny. Hey. You’re in shock.” She tells him, and he kind of nods. 

“I’m in shock?” he asks.

“Yeah.” She sees him start to focus, start to see her.

“That… that makes sense.” He says. His eyes are a little glazed, full of tears.

“Sonny,” this time he focuses on her, seeing her. “Sonny, can you tell me what happened?” 

He nods after a moment. “I don’t really know. I tried to stop. He blew the light. He hit her side. He rabbited before I could figure out what was happening, I’m sorry, I got hit so hard. I tried to help her. She bled all over me. She just kept… bleeding. There was so much blood. I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t stop it.” 

“It’s okay, Sonny. How do you feel?” She asks.

“I’m fine.” Sonny automatically responds, but the EMT working on his head makes eye contact with Amanda long enough to shake her head. 

“Okay,” Amanda says. “Good. Can you maybe go get a scan? Just to be sure?”

Sonny shakes his head. “I gotta… I gotta.... I gotta stop him. I gotta get him.”

“Fin and Liv will get him, Sonny. I’m gonna ride with you to the hospital. You know how Jesse gets when you have scratches. If you don’t go to the real doctors, I’ll let her fix you.” Amanda jokes, and breathes a sigh of relief when she sees the first flash of Sonny come back into his eyes at the mention of her daughter.

“Jesse,” he nods, as if her name is an affirmation. “Okay.” he tells her.

Liv arrives, and Amanda updates her before taking Sonny to the hospital.

Sonny’s mostly quiet at the hospital, grunting yeses and nos to the doctor examining him. He has a concussion, Dr. Alves explains, and several of the cuts end up needing stitches, but nothing too serious, nothing broken. Amanda takes her first real breath when Sonny sits down on her couch, in NYPD sweats and a hoodie, tired but mostly whole. It’s late, but Jesse is still awake(fussy, but awake), and Amanda sets the toddler down on Sonny’s lap. He manages to smile for her, and she reaches one little hand out and touches the bandage above his eye.

“Sonny get a owie?” she asks, sleepy in her footie pajamas(they have koalas on them, Fin bought them for her and he was incredibly proud). That gets the real smile out of him, and he shifts Jesse on his lap.

“Yeah, baby, I did, but I’m okay.” Sonny tells her. When Jesse frowns at him, he points at the bandage. “The doctors fixed me up. All better.”

That doesn’t seem to be enough for Jesse. “Did they kiss it?” 

Sonny actually laughs, just a little one, enough to warm Amanda’s heart. “No, Jesse, they didn’t,” and Jesse rolls her eyes in a perfect impression of her Uncle Rafa. 

“Silly doctors.” Jesse mumbles, and kisses her palm, pressing it to Sonny’s bandage gently. “All better,” she informs Sonny. Sonny thanks her and she hugs him, and Amanda sees the moment Sonny just  _ relaxes _ , the moment the adrenaline, fear, and shock fades. 

He reads Jesse not one but  _ two  _ books(“special treatment for fixing me up,” Sonny tells Amanda), and tucks her in. Amanda waits for him on the couch, two cups of tea on the coffee table, and listens as he wishes Jesse goodnight and promises to leave the door open just a little for the hall light. 

Sonny gives her a smile as he comes back into the living room. “She’ll be out like a light in two minutes, sleepy little bug.” 

“She was really happy to see you tonight. She asks about you all the time.” Amanda hands him a mug, and he sits beside her with a heavy, tired sigh. “I think she’d really love it if you came around more often.”

Sonny huffs a laugh. “Manda, I’m here like, two or three nights a week.” 

“Yeah, I know, I’m just saying that you’re always welcome here. Living on takeout ain’t so bad.” Amanda shrugs. Sonny watches her for a moment, and nods slowly.

“Thank you.” Sonny’s Staten Island accent is getting thicker, and she knows that means he’s tired. 

“You had me worried for a minute there, Dominick.” Amanda admits, looking down at her tea. 

Sonny waves her off. “I was fine. I am fine.”

“No, you weren’t. Sonny, I-” Amanda takes a minute to steady herself. “You wouldn’t look at me. You were shaking, you were rocking back and forth. I looked in your eyes and it was like you didn’t even see me.” She hates that she sounds weak, scared, because she doesn’t want to put it on him to make  _ her  _ feel better. 

“Hey, Rollins.” Sonny grabs her hand, and she forces herself to look at him. “Amanda, I’m fine. I know that it was ugly, and I’m sorry for that, but I’m okay. I just wanna nail this guy.”

Amanda sighs and nods, shrugging. 

Sonny cracks a smirk. “Besides, Jesse fixed me up. All better.”


End file.
